Think: GIVE…not GET

I had lunch a couple days ago with an old friend of mine  – my high-school buddy Jon. We live about an hour away from each other – and subsequently don’t see each other enough. You know how that goes.

One thing that I have noticed is that the older we get, the more our conversations seem to be about the really important aspects of lives. Our kids, our clients, our experiences. I remember years ago – maybe earlier in our careers – we were focused on acquiring: things, customers, new homes, new cars, new and better jobs, the right schools for our kids…etc.

Acquiring takes a TON of mental and emotional energy. Which is probably why I remember often feeling exhausted from “the chase.” But GIVING is much different.

Jon was reflecting that the more he has focused on giving, the richer his life has become. The more he spends time giving of himself to others, the more he gets back. The more he lets go of the idea of “getting” things from an interaction or a relationship the easier, more fulfilling and more abundant his life becomes.

You may have experienced this as well. I know I have. In multiple aspects of my life.

We know that we are at our best when we stop trying to GET and instead make GIVING our primary mission. And our religious and spiritual traditions have been cultivating a similar idea for thousands of years.

If you are struggling with the game of golf, consider that you may be trying to GET something from the game. Consider for a moment that the same paradigms of giving and getting apply to the game of golf…and that you may be overly focused on YOU – and your Ego is trying to fulfill a need that it thinks is unmet. Consider also that you may be holding too tightly onto a story about what you need in that round, on that course, in that tournament…etc.

Also, consider that if you can learn to operate instead from a level of thought that is firmly rooted in the concept of GIVING, your golf experience could change significantly (and for the better). You would no longer feel the pull of the ego. You would no longer feel the duality of winning and losing – and you would come to see the game with a completely new perspective.

So  – in this, the season of giving, stop trying to GET something from the game of golf. Start thinking about what you can GIVE to the game, to your playing partners, to your competition. When you can get off of yourself and focus on contributing, making a difference and serving others, THEN you can set yourself up to play your best golf.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours.


Paul Monahan, PCC is a Peak-Performance coach, member of the International Coach Federation and a certified COR.E Performance Dynamics Specialist. He resides in Cleveland, Ohio with his wife Paula and is the proud dad to three young men.

Paul Monahan

Paul Monahan

Paul Monahan is an International Coach Federation (ICF) - credentialed coach working in the arena of human potential. Paul’s clients are leaders, executives, athletes and musicians who are serious about transforming how they perform in critical moments. His experiences in leadership and development over a highly-successful 25-year corporate career have created powerful context and understanding for the leaders and executives he coaches. Additionally, his passions and experiences in sports and music have uniquely positioned Paul to profoundly impact his clients in those areas as well.

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